Rules of Engagement
by Isabelle
Summary: Summary: How Chuck & Blair keep their relationship interesting affects everyone around them. No real spoilers, just general season 2.
1. Be Nice to Brooklyn

**Title: Rules of Engagement**

Author: Isabelle

Rating: PG-13 for adult situations

Summary: How Chuck & Blair keep their relationship interesting affects everyone around them. No real spoilers, just general season 2.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own Gossip Girl.

Word Count: About 1,000 each

A/N – Special thanks to Tati, my always wonderful Beta.

-----------

_**~ Be Nice to Brooklyn ~**_

"You're late," she snapped, glaring at him as she entered the limo. She heard him sigh behind her as he slid in and closed the door.

"I could blame it on Serena," he conceded, smiling as he took in her strapless dress.

"Won't work. She's been texting me from Brooklyn," she grimaced, and he nodded.

"Well at least she's alive," he smiled charmingly.

"You're still late, and you know what that means, right?" She asked innocently.

He growled. "Give me a break, Waldorf!"

She smirked, taking in his exasperation. He did look handsome in his fine black suit and the little yellow bowtie that matched her dress.

"Rules are rules, Bass, and we are no one to break them," she chided.

"We break them all the damn time!" He was staring at her wide-eyed, but she just blinked back innocently.

"Not this time. You know what you have to do." Her smile was fiery syrup, and he nearly pouted.

"Aww! We're going to have _such_ a good time!" And she was kissing him. As a consolation prize, of course.

Forty-five minutes later ,she nearly had to drag him to play out his sentencing. Serena brightened when she saw them, nudging Dan, who paled slightly when he saw them approach.

"Serena!" They air kissed.

"You guys made it!" Serena smiled, looking stunning in her backless Versace. Blair turned to Chuck and smirked at him. Chuck was glowering at Dan, who was confused by the sudden attention.

"Chuck…" she started, nodding happily at him.

Chuck's nostrils flared slightly. "Humphrey," he nodded finally, and Dan blinked.

"Bass," he returned the greeting, still confused.

"So… How's the weather in Brooklyn?" Chuck ground out.

"Ehhh…" Dan looked at Blair, then at Serena, seeking an explanation. Serena smiled encouragingly. "It's… The same as here."

Serena giggled and planted a happy kiss on Dan, making Chuck roll his eyes and Blair cast him a dark look.

"But thanks for asking," Dan continued, now flushed and still as confused as ever.

"No problem," Chuck spat.

All four stared at one another uncomfortably.

"Nice shoes." Chuck continued making Dan gulp. "Pierre Hardy?"

Dan looked down at his shoes, still confused. "Umm… No. Payless. But, you know, I'm sure they're just like Hardy's."

Chuck attempted a smile, but it came out as a grimace. He looked pleadingly at Blair.

Blair avoided his eyes, looking innocently at the crowd of people.

Chuck sighed, clearly annoyed. "I need a drink."

Blair watched him stalk away with a happy, satisfied smile on her face.

"Ok, what is going on?" Dan demanded.

Blair sighed, happy with herself. "He broke a rule. One of the punishments is to be nice to a Brooklynite."

Dan gaped. "You two bet on _us_."

"All the time," Blair countered, as if it were plainly obvious.

"Have you two actually attempted a _normal_ relationship?" Dan ventured.

Blair puffed. "And fall into monotony? Please, that's why you two are here."

--------------

"Rules are rules, Waldorf, and we are no one to break them." His smile was just as slick as hers had been a few weeks before. If her little brown eyes could kill anyone, he would surely be dead by now.

"I _hate_ you," she snapped.

"Of course you do, now run off like a good girl and get dressed," he smirked.

Her little nostrils flared and he heard her stomp all the way upstairs as Dorota followed dutifully behind her.

Forty-five minutes later, she descended the stairs, her head held high like the queen she was. He heard Cyrus laugh next to him.

"You two have fun, and don't come back too late," Eleanor nodded.

"Oh, let them!" Cyrus cried happily.

"If we're not back by 1am, call the police," Blair replied sardonically. Eleanor's eyebrows shot up to her hairline.

"Don't be silly, Blair. It's Brooklyn. Not Ho Chi Minh," Chuck chuckled and led her to the elevator as she pouted behind him. She refused to look at him all the way down and didn't let him hold her hand. All this he brushed off with a chuckle. She looked like she had been sentenced to death, and even wore a deep black dress to prove it. He was surprised she hadn't worn a dark veil with a matching embroidered hankie.

When the limo pulled up to the bar, she took her time, touching up her makeup. He watched in amusement as she slipped on long gloves that hit her elbows.

He raised a brow, but she simply shrugged.

"I hear there's a hepatitis scare," she explained, and he bit back a laugh at her antics.

His eyes brightened as he took in his bar and led her inside, despite her attempt to drag her feet. He spotted Nate and Vanessa in a moment and waved over to them, pulling Blair with him.

Nate and Vanessa took in Blair's somber outfit and bit back a laugh. Chuck turned a slick smile to Blair and blinked innocently at her.

Blair scowled and turned to look at Vanessa, suddenly pasting a fake smile on her face, one which made the girl reel back.

"Vanessa," she started. "You look lovely."

Vanessa's brows furrowed. "Thank you… So do you. Do you have a wake later?"

Blair's eyes narrowed sharply, and Chuck cleared his throat. She cast him a dark look, then planted another smile on her face.

"You guys did a great job with the place," she commented, and Vanessa and Nate exchanged looks. Chuck's Cheshire smile grew wider. "It looks so… So… You know… _You_."

Nate let out a small laugh, and then cleared his throat. "Yes, well, we wanted to make sure we pleased our investor." And he nodded at Chuck.

"I need a drink," Blair announced suddenly.

"Ummm… Bar's that way." Vanessa pointed behind them, and Blair swiftly made her way there.

Chuck watched her retreat with a satisfied look on his face.

"Ok… What game are you two playing?" Nate started, and Vanessa shook her head in disbelief.

"You need not worry." Chuck studied Blair as she demanded a drink from the bartender.

"Have you two tried to have a _normal_ relationship? Like movies, dinner?" Vanessa ventured, still scandalized.

Chuck smirked and winked at her. "What would be the fun in that?" He then decided to rescue his best bartender from the wrath of Blair Waldorf as he had accidentally made her a vodka martini.

---------

These are a series of little bits of C/B being non-coupley couples.


	2. Bitch on Wheels

**Title: Rules of Engagement**

Author: Isabelle

Rating: PG-13 for adult situations

Summary: How Chuck & Blair keep their relationship interesting affects everyone around them.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own Gossip Girl.

Word Count: About 1,000 each

A/N – Special thanks to Tati, my always wonderful Beta.

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_**~ Bitch on Wheels ~**_

"Don't be like that, Waldorf. Just let me carry you!" He hissed, completely exasperated and loosing his cool as her ankle swelled.

"No!" She grunted, holding back tears as she stepped on her foot. "And I thought I told you I never wanted to see you again for as long as I live!"

"Fine, but let me get you to a hospital first –"

"You should feel guilty, you know – making do these things! I used to be dignified before I met you –"

"You've known me since first grade –"

"I used to be a lady!"

"Please, bored you to tears –"

"Nate never made me do these things –" And the moment Nate's name was out of her mouth, her eyes widened as a slow smile formed on his lips. "I mean… What I meant was…" she backpedaled.

He smirked at her, and she fumed, ready to kick him with her swollen foot.

"Rules are –"

"I know the damn rules, Bass. I made them –" And she yelped when he unceremoniously tossed her over his shoulder. "Put me down! You – you- caveman!"

He swatted her ass as he continued down the street with her.

"Oww! You psychotic – I'm calling the police, I'm calling them right now –" she continued. "You put me down… Where are we going?"

His limo was within sight, and Arthur opened the door for him as he kept his mouth wisely shut.

"To the hospital, Arthur –"

"Don't you dare!" She cried. "Arthur, don't you listen to him – this is kidnapping!"

An hour later, Chuck had pulled a lot of strings to get her seen before the common masses, and she was sitting on a gurney with a cast on her foot, glowering darkly at him.

"Good thing you brought her. She would've damaged it for sure if she continued walking on it," the young intern nodded at him and walked out.

"I hate you."

"Yes, I know. Here are your crutches," he handed her the wooden crutches, and she turned up her nose at them.

"I'm not using those, limping all over the place," she snapped.

"Well, I hope you don't expect me to carry you all over Manhattan, I'm not _that_ athletic," he replied, and she narrowed her eyes.

"You should! Making me run –"

"You had no reason to run! I wasn't doing _anything_!" He pleaded. "_She_ was on me, not the other way around!"

"And knowing that I had on my new Marc Jacobs –k"

"Blair, listen – you're being ridi –"

"Get me a wheelchair. From this day forth, Charles Bass, I want nothing – absolutely _nothing_ to do with you."

-----

"Blair, don't you think you're being just a little unreasonable?" Serena looked down at her friend and, yes, she was looking down as Blair sat on the electric wheelchair that Chuck had gotten her. She accepted it with the preamble that it has been _his_ fault that she had broken her ankle.

"No. I aim to find a man here tonight and nothing else." Blair answered, making sure Chuck had her in clear view as he lounged with Peter Strauss while sipping his extra-dry martini. "Preferably blond. I'd even take a redhead. And he must have green eyes."

"As un-Chuck as you can find." Serena rolled her eyes and grimaced as Blair ran over Penelope's foot with her power wheels.

"Move it!" Blair snapped at her minions, and people yelled in fear of their lives as she made it to the bar. Serena followed her, shaking her head.

"I still don't know how you made it to the hospital," Serena mused as Blair ordered a gin and tonic.

"Chuck carried me, and if you tell anyone, I will tell Gossip Girl you're not a real blonde," Blair snapped.

"I am a blonde!" Serena said exasperatedly.

"Don't worry, _ma cherie_, enough people envy you to believe me," Blair said easily, and Serena believed her. Blair Waldorf could convince the Pope he was Jewish and Chuck Bass he was a gentleman.

"Blair…" But the game was on. College freshman Jake Hamilton was now eyeing Blair in her little short dress and her propped up foot. And Serena wanted to hide, because her stepbrother would wait exactly five seconds before making Jake want to move across the country.

"Jake!" Blair said cheerily.

"What happened to your foot, baby?" Jake leered in.

Five… four…

"Oh, I broke my ankle – so if you want to dance with me, you're going to have to carry me." She was tossing her hair behind her shoulder, making sure a certain brunette saw how much fun she was having and how desirable she was.

Three… two…

"I could carry you. You probably weigh next to nothing."

One…

"Take your hands off my girlfriend!" And before Serena knew it, she was being shoved aside by her temperamental step-brother and there was a flurry of pink scarf floating in the wind, Blair screaming (Her foot! Her foot!), Jake reeling, and Chuck Bass tripping over the same electric chair he had given Blair and landing with a hard crunch on his wrist.

Where was Nate when you needed him? This was the only thing she could think of, seeing as he had been called away to Brooklyn and Dan was busy visiting his mother. So it was her and Blair in the emergency room, and because Blair couldn't pace, she contented herself with wheeling to the nurse's station and demanding to see Chuck. At one point, male orderlies had to stop her from wheeling past the doors at full speed. Serena warned her she was going to run out of batteries, but Blair ignored her.

"I'm sure he's fine, B." Serena said, nearly falling asleep. She should've worn more clothes, her teeth were chattering in the cold room.

_Zoom!_

There she went again.

Serena opened her eyes in time to see Blair's long hair flowing in the wind as she zoomed towards the doors again. She was quite a sight in a green Eleanor Waldorf original, foot in cast, phone in hand, threatening to run over anyone that crossed her path.

If that wasn't love, Serena didn't know what was.

"Move it, old person!" She snapped at a barely-fifty year old, who was unfortunately in her path as Chuck finally walked out of the double doors with his own hand in a cast, looking worse for wear.

"Come to give me a ride?" He asked, looking down at her.

Blair had the decency to look composed.

"Oh, good. You're alive. My chair doesn't fit in the cabs," she replied.

"That's all you can say to me? After I've broken my wrist for you?"

"You didn't have to come trotting in there like some kind of Nintendo warrior –"

"He looked suspicious!"

"You _know_ Jake! You've threatened him before in the past."

"Exactly my point!"

Blair looked defeated, her eyes wide as she took in his cast. "I'm tired. I don't want to fight. I just want to go home."

And just like that, Serena watched in slight astonishment as they went from fighting with one another to just being ok. Chuck grabbed his medicines from the nurses' counter, Blair placed them on her lap, and off they walked/wheeled away, their fingers slightly touching.

When Nate finally appeared the next day, he shook his head as Blair wheeled in to school and Chuck cradled his hand to his chest.

"I leave you two for a minute, and you end up hospitalized," he chuckled. "So… Who tried to touch her?"

Chuck grunted and Blair zoomed past Nate, nearly running over his foot.

Chuck smirked. "She's a bitch on wheels."

-----

More? Of course more!


	3. Worth It

**Title: Rules of Engagement**

Author: Isabelle

Rating: PG-13 for adult situations

Summary: How Chuck & Blair keep their relationship interesting affects everyone around them.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own Gossip Girl.

Word Count: About 1,000 each

A/N – Special thanks to Tati, my always wonderful Beta.

**This one is more fluff than funny because we also need fluff in the show :)**

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_**~ Worth It ~**_

"Oh, c'mon, B!" Serena squealed from her bed as Blair brushed her hair in front of the vanity. "We've waited for prom all our lives! It's the one thing you can look back on and remember fondly. And now that your foot is all better, you can wear heels again!"

Blair sighed. "I'm not enthused."

Serena sat up and stared at her. "Just because Chuck is going to be out of town doesn't mean you can't find a quick replacement and go with them! Or, better yet, how about we make a big group and no one has dates?"

Blair turned and glared at her. "Right. You and Humphrey make out in a corner and Nate and Vanessa make googley-eyes at one another. Perfect prom scenario, S."

"We won't make out," Serena promised. "We'll be platonic."

Blair rolled her eyes and set her brush down. "You can't help it – everything in your relationship goes well, _nothing_ in mine does."

"That's not true, Blair – you know how he feels about you," Serena nodded encouragingly. "If you two just stopped playing those games you two are always playing, maybe you'd be the ones making out in the corner. Just warn me, ok? This way I can magically go blind or something."

"Well, don't you worry. We'll never be the ones making out in the corner," Blair replied softly, playing with her hands.

Serena's brows furrowed at the thought that maybe Blair might finally open up about their little arrangement, this little _thing_ that Blair and Chuck had going on.

"What exactly have you two agreed on?" She asked carefully.

Blair visibly gulped like she always did when something was bothering her.

"C'mon, B – you can tell me. How am I supposed to be your supportive best friend if you don't talk to me?" Serena urged.

Blair sighed, her thin shoulders visibly slumping. "He… We… We decided it's best if we're not together. I mean it's for the best, he's right. It's not us, and we'll just end up messing it up and hurting one another."

Serena's eyes softened. "But that's the risk you take, you know. In relationships. You risk… You have to risk everything. It should be worth it."

Serena saw something flash in Blair's eyes and saw her friend sit up. Energy was blazing off her and all the previous lethargy was now gone.

"You're right. Helio Carmody asked me already, and you know his father's company is investing in my mother's new line. He's been over a few times –"

"I'm pretty sure he's gay," Serena interrupted her.

"He's perfect!" Blair said happily.

Serena rolled her eyes. "I sense that this is still a game."

Blair huffed and grabbed her phone. "So? It's what I like."

---------

Nate watched his friend pace back and forth. Chuck's luggage already set up and waiting by the door, but he ignored it as he raked his hands through his hair.

"Why don't you just ask her _not_ to go," Nate offered lamely, never really knowing where to stand when Chuck and Blair were on a rampage.

"Nathaniel," Chuck began, as if explaining something to a young child. "How little you know Miss Waldorf. If I were the one to initiate the 'surrender,' then she wins. And we can't let that happen, can we?"

Nate buried his face in his hands. "Don't you get tired of the games?"

"Not today," Chuck ground out and called for his butler to grab the luggage. "I've got a meeting to attend. Bart's depending on me to do this right, so I have no choice."

"Fine. You know, you could've asked her to come with you. That way, she wouldn't be planning this entire mess," Nate tried.

"She's not my girlfriend –"

"You've called her that on various occasions –"

"Heat of the moment and inebriation do not count," Chuck snapped, turning sharply and heading headed out the door.

-------

"He's not coming," Nate leaned in and told her. She turned to glare at him and puffed.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she snapped.

Nate looked at Vanessa, Vanessa looked at him, and they both shook their heads.

"Ok, then stop looking around like _someone_ might appear out of the blue," Nate remarked.

Her eyes narrowed and she walked away, taking her thick red skirt with her. Her minions followed behind faithfully.

She felt empty and sad and almost abandoned. She knew his father asking him to do this was a big deal to him. It was only natural for a boy who had hungered for his father's approval all of his life to jump at the India project and leave her to spend her prom with a gay albino. She glowered towards Helio, who seemed to have discovered that Eric had been snuck into the senior prom.

Honestly! She looked absolutely stunning, and he hadn't even gotten her roses!

She sucked at life.

She pouted.

"Blair, what should we do about Cindy?" Penelope came into her line of vision, and Blair's eyes narrowed. She was so tired of these little girl games that she could scream.

"Do whatever," she snapped.

"Oh, my God, Blair…" Hazel gasped, her small, round eyes growing wide.

"Look, can I just get a moment to think by myself?" She yelled at them and stalked to the other side of the room, where Serena was slow dancing with Dan. "S!" She tugged violently at Serena's arms, pulling her from her Dan-haze.

"Blair," Dan greeted rather dryly as he looked down at her.

"Humphrey." Blair's lip curled in disgust.

"Blair, what's wrong?" Serena turned and stared at her in concern.

"You said I would not feel like a third-wheel," she snapped, hands on her hips.

"Oh, my God, Blair," Serena whispered, looking past her shoulder.

Blair rolled her eyes. "I had Helio's attention for ten minutes less than predicted –"

Dan gestured behind her. "Hmmm… Prince Charming?"

Blair stopped talking, exasperated with life. What was _wrong_ with people today? And then she stopped in her tracks. Before her stood none other than Chuck Bass, in a perfect tuxedo, hair combed and holding a single red rose.

Her heart melted into a pile of goo and she felt a sappy smile slide onto her face as he slowly walked to her with the grace of the gentleman he had been raised to be but refused to become.

"Chuck Bass…" She whispered, out of breath.

He came closer to her.

"I called my father from Kolkata and told him that even though I would like nothing more than to oversee the India project, I just had to see you in your prom dress," he said softly.

She felt a flurry of soft fluttering erupt in her stomach, and it brought a genuine smile to her face.

"Was it worth it?" She asked him, standing so very close that she could feel his breath on her face.

"You mean you in your dress, or the very rare but apparently non-extinct look of pride in my father's face?" he countered, back to his self-assured, cocky, arrogant way.

More fluttering. She was so deliriously happy. She didn't suck at life after all!

"I hope you're not too tired, I plan to dance and dance," she informed him as she picked up the edge of her long train.

He smirked. "I hope you have stamina."

"Bass, I think we've already established that stamina is one thing I've got," she murmured as he took her into his arms and began swaying her back and forth.

His laugh rumbled against her chest, and she sighed contently, sinking into his comfortable embrace. That was when his shoulder was tapped and Helio appeared.

Chuck's eyes narrowed.

Warning bells went off in Blair's head. Her eyes widened.

"May I cut in?" Helio asked, smiling rakishly at Chuck.

"That's would be a 'no', _friend_," Chuck ground out, his eyes dark.

"Not now, Helio," Blair smiled and gave an airy laugh.

Helio smirked, raking his eyes up and down Chuck's body. "What's wrong, Blair? Don't like to share?"

And that was when Chuck's body stiffened and his head slowly turned to stare at her, a ghost of a smirk on his lips.

Blair had the decency to give him a guilty smile.

"Well played, Waldorf," Chuck murmured.

"Thank you, Bass," Blair replied.

"Aren't you going to defend me?" Chuck asked, motioning to the still waiting Helio.

"Oh, no –" She patted his shoulder. "I think you've got it." And she walked away.

----

TBC

Next: Chuck Bass never gets sick. Ever.


	4. High on Vicks

Title: Rules of Engagement

Author: Isabelle

Rating: PG-13 for adult situations

Summary: How Chuck & Blair keep their relationship interesting affects everyone around them.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own Gossip Girl.

Word Count: About 1,000 each

A/N – Special thanks to Tati, my always wonderful Beta. **I'm dedicating this to my sick friend Kimmy, who totally deserves a fic after being sick.**

-----------

_**~ High on Vicks ~**_

Chuck Bass never got sick. Ever. Which was why he refused to go into her room. She was sick (apparently dying), and he was not going in. Not that he could have gone in if he wanted to. The door was barricaded by Dorota, who was a formidable opponent all on her own.

"Don't let him –" A loud sneeze and a cough and some rather disgusted noises interrupted her. " – in my room, Dorota!"

"Yes, Miss Blair." Dorota glared at Chuck, and Chuck calmly walked downstairs, grabbed a heavy chair from the dining room, and dragged it up to her room. Dorota watched him with hawk eyes as he sat down, pulled out his phone and began playing Tetris.

After she was sure he was making no move or counter attack to enter Blair's room, Dorota bustled inside, and he listened intently as Blair whined that her head was exploding and that she was hot. And then cold. And then hot.

"Miss Blair, you must go to doctor!" He heard Dorota chide.

"No! The world cannot see me like this," Blair cried.

"You sick, everyone get sick," Dorota countered.

"I'll be better in the morning. Send him home," Blair demanded, and Chuck knew who the _he_ was and that particular _he_ was not going anywhere any time soon.

Yet, sure enough, Dorota came out once more and glared down at him as if he'd given her precious Miss Blair the cold.

"Go home, Mister Chuck – Miss Blair no see you today," Dorota informed him, and Chuck continued browsing his emails calmly.

"I think I'll have some of that delicious smelling chicken noodle soup you made for _Miss Blair_, Dorota. Serve me a bowl," He replied, and felt her fume and stomp downstairs.

He quickly texted Blair.

_**Dorota went 2 get me dinner. Not going ne where. Deal w it.**_

He felt her sheets rustle inside as her phone rang, and he heard her cough loudly, making him grimace.

_**Go away. I don't want 2 c u.**_

He smirked and settled himself into the chair.

_**Y? I bet u look gorgeous.**_

He heard her groan and then sneeze and whine to herself.

_**I hate u.**_

He raised a brow.

_**How did u get sick?**_

He heard her cough loudly.

_**I don't know, I don't care. Just go away!**_

He shrugged his shoulders.

_**Don't worry, I wont go in neways. I'm not getting sick.**_

She sneezed five times in a row, and she was silent, not answering his text. He waited and then, after a few minutes, he naturally got anxious. Where the hell was that maid? He was not going in there. He had never gotten sick, and he wasn't going to start now.

"Blair?" He asked through the door, knocking softly.

No answer.

"B?" He asked louder. "Hey, you ok?"

She was suspiciously quiet. It was one of two options. One: she was tricking him into going in by making him worried that she had passed out, and he would have to gallantly carry her to the emergency room, their new apparent hangout spot. Or two: she was really sick and genuinely needed him to come check on her.

He didn't debate much further and went in. The curtains were drawn and it smelled like something minty and medicinal. He wrinkled his nose. He was able to detect a huddled mound at the other end of her bed and quickly walked to her.

He knelt down and pulled the sheets back to reveal a nearly unrecognizable Blair. Her nose was red and swollen, her lips were dry, her hair was wet and pasty, and her skin was pale and blotchy. He was astounded. In all his years of watching Blair, she had never looked anything but perfect. Her eyes were closed and as she slowly opened them, they widened slightly when she saw him. She moaned and tried to hide under the covered, but he held them back.

"I got worried, you didn't reply to the text," he said quickly. She covered her mouth when she coughed and glared at him.

"Go away…" She rasped.

"I'm calling a doctor, you look like hell," he said.

She rolled her eyes. "Gee, thanks."

He wasted no time and pulled out his cell, called the family doctor that he knew for a fact did home visits and, before she was able to protest, the older man was there. He was rushed out of the room once more by a very angry and slightly grateful Dorota and made to sit in his little chair outside like some sort of southern plantation owner.

Inside, he heard some soft murmuring and some rumbling laughter before the physician walked out.

"Well?" Chuck demanded as he stepped outside. He had a sinking feeling this was something really bad – he had taken nearly thirty minutes! His palms were clammy and his tie itched at his throat, so he tugged at it.

The old man chuckled. "Oh, she'll be fine. Plenty of rest and fluids. If her fever goes up, a nice, cold shower will fix her right up." He patted Chuck on his shoulder. "Don't you worry, son, your girlfriend just has a cold."

"She's not my –"

"They never are." And he winked conspiratorially at Chuck. This bothered him. OK, so she wasn't his girlfriend. But she wasn't a call girl, either. Chuck watched the man descend the stairs and quickly returned to Blair's room. He poked his head in and saw that Blair was now sitting up in loads of silk pillows, turned on her side with her eyes closed. Her hair was combed and pulled back in a ponytail and her face seemed washed. Dorota nodded at him as she bustled out. He carefully sat on the bed and took her in.

"I'm pissed at you, Bass," she murmured, and he could tell she was extremely sleepy and tired.

"Yeah, I know," he said and slowly slid his arm under her head. She cuddled up to him, warming him. She was definitely not a call girl. He wouldn't have allowed anyone else to come this close to him while sick.

"You smell strange," he admitted.

She coughed. "It's the Vicks."

He grabbed the little bottle from her nightstand and wrinkled his nose at it.

"I think this is the source of your sickness," he declared, and she smiled.

He held her head against his chest as she finally went into a fitful sleep. Once he was sure she was asleep, he finally kissed the top of her head.

He didn't realize that he had fallen asleep beside her until he felt a looming presence over him. He snapped open his eyes to find an amused Eleanor Waldorf staring down at him.

He opened his mouth to explain, but she held up her hand.

"Thank you for looking out for my little girl, Charles," Eleanor nodded, and Chuck quickly untangled himself from Blair. Blair, for her part, was dead to the world and went on sleeping but seemed annoyed at the loss of warmth.

"I'll go home now since you're back, Mrs. Waldorf," he said quietly and headed out, mostly to escape that knowing look on Eleanor's face. It was all too much.

It was no surprise that two days later, as he attempted to wake, he thought he was dying. His throat felt raw, his body cold and sporting uncontrollable shivers, and he was coughing.

You see, this is why he was not a fan of girlfriends.

When he didn't leave his room for a day, Lily ventured in and promptly called the doctor. A few hours later, a happy and rejuvenated Blair bounced into his room.

"Go away," he snapped. Then sneezed. Five times.

"Aww! You're sick," she said as she and Serena peered down at him.

"And contagious," Serena snapped and quickly exited the room.

"New rule," he managed. "When one is sick, the other must disappear," he stated.

"Well, considering you broke that very rule two days ago, you now have to pay the consequences," she explained briskly as she took off her coat, rolled up her sleeves, and started pulling him out of bed and towards the shower.

The Vicks was obviously making him high as Chuck at full speed would've caught that one a mile away.

The entire family heard him whine like a child as Blair made him stand under the freezing water, but he forgave her once she settled him back in bed and let him cuddle against her.

She pushed his hair back and kissed his forehead and, without wanting to do it, he sighed contently. "You're a good boyfriend," she murmured against his skin.

That was settled then. He supposed now he was a boyfriend.

------

To don't know if I'll do another one as I'm working on another project ;)


End file.
